when love is for the highest bidder

loving those for reaction or gain
loving those under another name
loving those who will treat you well
loving those to keep you from hell
loving those better than everyone else
loving those to impress the unimpressed
loving those to resist looking poor
loving those in all places, til you feet are sore
loving those looked over, covering the bases
loving those of simple hearts, and many faces

you've done it! let's celebrate!
you truely are accomplished
go claim your trophy, yes it all adds up.
your sins have been abolished.
yes, i see your bags are packed
it appears you're ready to go.
but wait, what's this? a letter,
it seems its you that He doesn't know.

poems from the Netherlands

1. on a train to amsterdam:

love, a brotherly love, overwhelms my senses.
takes me to that warmer place, breaking my defenses.
love, a sisterly love, like a rush of home.
shows me incandescent light like ive never known.
love, a fatherly love, on one that i can rely.
for when i turn to Him is when the others have passed me by.
He shows me how i am to love, from what i can decipher.
so deep and vast and absolute, it is in every fiber.

(describes the love between brothers and sisters in Christ and the ultimate love from the Father)

2. on a night with the missionaries: "The Masterpiece"

huddled around a fire and guitar.
as melodies of the soul are shared.
a few months ago us strangers met
and now we're stripped and bare.
my heart made space for these new names
as the trip became real.
and with each testimony God shows me
what I'm meant to feel.
Yet i am afraid to move myself
the seconds turn to years.
the patience endures, no hope for cures,
grasping at lost fears.
for what am i to the I AM?
an imperfect likeness of Him.
with a faith conditional, like my love,
sure not to overflow the rim.
The last few moments before we leave
our prayers fall on open ears.
our desperate hearts play out their notes,
as the taxi nears.
a special evening destined to end
as we say "i love you" on the phone.
but we'll always remember what God showed us
this masterpiece of skin and bone.
when Jesus brought this elegant blueprint
and all the materials supplied.
and most of all the arc of flesh,
in which His Spirit abides.

3. and lastly, on the last night o the trip...
"A Beautiful Reunion"

sound walls and impermiable doors.
beams that brace the sides of the hall.
seperating solids from space it abhors,
they grow paramount, full and tall.
the ceiling's span inhales deep breaths
to maximize its potential for sure.
drawing strength up from the depths
only the best used; homogenous and pure.
patience taken to build the fortress.
prefection is the only thing allowed for absolutes.
no limit for variences in expected guests.
then that booming voice which reigns and mutes.
the day longed for by the lost and found
comes quicker than anticipated.
and heartbreaks and heartfuls surely bound;
a beautiful reunion for us and Him so long awaited.

not much

time reigns over the days' remains.
it'll bring the horizon to its knees,
in the short seconds of its life.
just taking up time to shoot the breeze.
celebrations for endings left to the living.
kings whose crowns are cold in the ground.
and hearts that once loved in its purest form,
have strayed to perversion from which they were bound.

where are you looking?

in a garden sorely missed
we relish memories that we still kiss
and the stains from our unecessary deeds
are for which the Lamb still bleeds
"simple, easy, take it slow"
but our bodies control and we say no
you speak in parables
and show us the terribles
we resolutely cover our ears
from the truths attacking our fears
for the one day you will return
maybe, just maybe, my heart will again burn
and i try to describe the indefineable
with shook up words and rhymeables
but the truth is, i'm looking at eternity
and i see you. can you see me?

you're not driving, why grip the wheel?

translucent lines, my feet do find;
tightrope trips to favor.
for years i've kept a statues balance
and centuries still left to savor.
the spirits and smiles so close to my heart,
keep me falling through the net.
and yet still do i seek to find
dissappointment and regret
forget my words, i lied to you
my voice as recorded as their breaths
the lack of strength to lift up my hand
when i can collapse like the rest.

before the cliffs, there was

standing at the edge of a decision
once made will change my entire life
the cliff seems steep and the waves below
are equally filled with hope and strife.
the ebb and flow like clockwork
their presence stronger than mine
what chance do i have to resist this force
with such elegantly disasterous design
perhaps i'll stay and wait it out
the ocean might give up, right?
i do not know, but i hope for the best;
for things beyond my sight.

speakerbox

i'll sing for you, anything,
but there is one tune that's on my tongue.
my voice may crack, or break altogether,
but i mean every word i've sung.
and as long as i've got air in my lungs
and my heart keeps the beat
i'll belt til you can hear me clear
ringing from the streets.

the run

on the run from reality, without money or sanity
not knowing where we would find our next meal
the flowers were fake, and the ring just a toy
but everything that we needed was real
since then, you've grown a beard and laugh lines
and i never tire of the smile on your face
with all the bruises of life, i take one look in your eyes
and my aches vanish without a trace

3 words

the sun slowly warming up my face
it's only a star, and they were only three words.
but they're bigger than you and me.
how do i word it...
it's so much more than i imagined
i took one step and i'm a million miles away.
i'm falling and flying at the same time
you make me leave myself
i never thought dreams could come true
and they never did.
until i met you.
so much to say, and eternity to say it.
it's almost not enough time to spend with you

(kinda run on... and stream of consciousness) eh?

woe

oh woe is me at last, and now i finally say to you
but with less heartache and far more callousness than is due
for what could put me past my reason and logic, to which i cling?
it's simple, so i'll make it breif, buts it's more than just one thing.
i'll start with the way i say goodnight, like i'm talking to myself.
did you not notice i was ill, underneath my seemingly perfect health?
and also, there's the notes you wrote, built by broken promises.
al though there were times when i could trust you effortlessly, when was the metamorphysis?
and lastly, i know i'm not perfect, but could you cut me some slack?
most of all i hated the fact that i couldn't love you back.

happy new year

the FLOOD

abandon all posts, no shelter is near.
the flood is determined, the water is clear.
what can i make of this natural disaster?
i surely wasn't prepared for this hazaard.
reporters said clear skies for days and days,
but now this endless rain has got me crazed.
i dreamt this could happen; a prophesy.
and together we salvaged, you and me.
board anything that floats, and send us afar.
though landmarks are disolved, i know where we are.
for the key to the map is no surprise.
it takes me to the horizon, looking in your eyes.
the sun after it rains dries all the drowned.
only moments until we're back on the ground.
suspended for days above the cold earth.
more alive than anything that could be birthed.
it's finally arrived, the ending, and it appears we've won,
but your smile reassures me, we've only just begun.




(have i lost my touch?)